


On Love and Loyalty

by orphan_account



Category: Political RPF - UK 20th-21st c.
Genre: Affairs, Angst, Cheating, Love Letters, M/M, Pining, Unrequited Love, a random letter writing exercise i did while procrastinting really, and tony thinks gordon doesnt want to cheat on his girlfriend because he is a dick, and we both know thats not going to happen, arguably woobifying an alleged war criminal, because dead john smith and leadership elections make things harder, because i want it to be, gordon doesnt want to cheat on his girlfriend because hes not a dick, i can think of worse things to be writing about though, i will click orphan work as soon as i post this because so does everyone else on the bloody tag, in character shit writing (and its not like anyone uses this tag anyway), letters written to get it all out but never sent because that makes him look way too vunerable, or maybe its not but he doesnt know that, rip john smith :(, set between gordon meeting sarah and john dying, this is just an impossibily fast moving relationship, tony grapples with the idea of not having everything he wants, tony thinks- its not really cheating if i cant leave my wife for you is it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-05
Updated: 2020-10-05
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:35:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 473
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26835295
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Relationships: Gordon Brown/Sarah Brown, Tony Blair/Cherie Blair, Tony Blair/Gordon Brown
Comments: 1
Kudos: 6





	On Love and Loyalty

She’s sweet, your girlfriend, lovely story about meeting on the plane. She seems to like you very much; you seem to like her very much. I’m happy for you. You have her and I have Cherie and I think that’s marvellous for both of us, stable. I wish you weren’t so loyal though, and yes, I know it’s been over for quite some time (in the form it used to take, at least) but to tell me we’re done forever? I don’t trust that; I don’t want that. Its not even a proper affair if nothing can come of it?! Surely? You cant exactly up and leave her for a _man_ , its just kissing and sex and perhaps a little bit of repressed love or whatever, its pleasure more than anything, not a real relationship- at least that’s what I’ve been telling myself and what I’ll tell her if or when she finds out about all this and tries to kick me out of the house (not good for optics, I don’t think). God, I’m writing this as if I’m actually going to send it, I’m restraining myself. How fucking silly; why not let myself write pages and pages telling you how this makes me want to curl up in a ball and die; how I can’t bare to see you with her; how I desperately miss waking up in your arms all those years ago, almost falling from that narrow sofa? Well, alright, that would be pathetic instead of silly, perhaps still a bit silly too, but maybe it would help me feel better. You’re drifting from me, I can tell. I know you’ll be gone for good sooner or later, we’ll be co-workers, friends (never as close as we used to be)- like we were never lovers. Its like a divorce, only we never got to have the marriage- rather tragic I think. We ended on ‘good terms’, a mutual agreement that wasn’t so mutual- the spark just dulled, you’ll say, and I’ll say the same thing, all while a bonfire burns me from the inside, as I stare at you from across the room at a mutual friend's wedding holding my wine glass much too tight- or something like that, lets push that image to the side of a bit. I guess self-pity is a bit cheap right now, y’know, I’m mourning an illicit affair at the kitchen table while my wife takes the kids to school. Oh well, humans are complex, always have been- love even more so. I hope someone, somewhere understands that, even if nobody else does. I hope you enjoyed the email I sent last night, though i do end up rambling quite a bit at some points, and its not as interesting as this letter, but its not like you have this for comparison, haha.


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